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Monthly Archives: August 2020

The place of Sentiment in your life.

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My maternal grandparents ca. 1932

Sentiment.

How important is it to you? How does that influence your life? Or more to the point, how does it impact on your home, and your relationships?

I used to be very sentimental, and found it difficult to throw just about anything out, even after its usefulness had run out. But then I moved out of the house that has been home for more than twenty years, and as I was packing I realized that I have so much stuff from my childhood, and from my student life, and married life, I couldn’t possibly pack everything, and find a place for it in my new place of residence. I had to sift through everything and only keep what I could use, or things that really, really mattered.

I did not find this process easy, and I have repeated it a few more times since then. Every single time, I threw out a lot of things that I actually would rather have kept. But, I can only imagine what my current house would look like if I had kept everything that reminded me of something or someone.

Does that make me less sentimental? I do actually think so, because I can block the emotional reaction I have to certain things, and decide with my head instead of my heart, what I should throw out or keep.

I may be wrong, but I do think that there is very little place for sentiment in the modern era. In general ‘old stuff’ does not mean much to the younger generations. Or am I wrong?

Could it be that they grow into it? I remember years ago my mom wanted to give me a set of plates and side plates that I grew up with, and I pulled my nose up at it! Now, I would give anything to have that set.

There will always be things that I will never get rid of, (I’ll leave that to my children to do after I’m gone! 😉 ), but I do try and keep those to a minimum, so my home and my life don’t get smothered in ‘stuff’. I also think it is a way of moving on with one’s life, to not stay bogged down in the past.

My SO* is at this moment in his life busy cleaning up and throwing out, and he used to keep EVERYTHING… he calls me to tell me how he is suffering, how hard he finds it to throw things out, and I can hear in his voice how he hates it. Things that have been buried in boxes in the garage, mind you, but up to now, he could not get himself so far to sort and discard.

There is a time and place for everything, I always say. You will know when you are ready to clean up – for some it will be sooner than it will be for others.

Keep safe and happy until next time! 🙂

 

Sun Seekers

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This sun seeker always knows if and when the sun is shining on ‘his’ spot by the backdoor.

 

As a teenager and young adult, I used to love tanning.

I have always hated heat, mind you, but I could suffer the heat for an hour or two, if it could result in a tanned body. Stupid child…

It often resulted in burning myself to a spectacular cooked-crayfish colour, and some pain to go with it, as I am quite fair. If I took it slowly (who has patience when you are 16 years old?) and tanned over a week or more, I did manage turn a lovely (sexy! 😉 ) nut brown.

Now, of course, I can pull all my hair out because I was so silly. I sit with the results clearly visible on my skin, and wish I can undo all the hours in the sun.

I do know that sunlight is good for a person, though, so even though I do love my dark, rainy days, I do try and spend some time outside in the sun when it is visible – suitably attired, of course. It lifts the spirit, and makes one healthier, or at least feel healthier!

Also in life, I am always trying my best ‘to find the sun’. Some days it is easier to do, other days not so much, but I do think that looking for the rays of light all the time, is important. That way, you don’t miss it when it happens! Because I am by nature a bit of a loner, it could be very easy to fall into the darkness, and get comfortable there. Fortunately, I have a few rays of sunshine in my life, that always manage to get me to smile and appreciate life when I find it a bit difficult – my children, their spouses, my precious granddaughter, and my SO.

This coming weekend is my birthday, and my SO* is away on business (darkness), BUT – I am not going to be alone, because 3 of my 5 (also counting the spouses) children, will be with me to celebrate – lots and lots of sunlight, right there! 😀

So, even when the weather is gloomy and dull, and you start feeling a bit depro, look for the light, the rays of sunshine, which is always there, somewhere.

Until next time, blog friends, hope you find the sun! 🙂

*SO – significant other.

Sunday life quote.

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Sun fingers touching the earth.

“Everyday we should hear at least one little song, read one good poem, see one exquisite picture, and, if possible, speak a few sensible words.”

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We should be kind to ourselves, give yourself the time for the smaller things in life, the little things in life that can change your existence from just being, to sublime.

Until next time, enjoy your Sunday, and be safe. 🙂

Loneliness vs happiness

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Sunset on the farm, a few years ago…

You know how it is no fun to go on holiday on your own? Or eat out alone?

I was listening to a talk on the radio yesterday while driving back from a doctor’s appointment. The talk was with a psychologist, and it was about loneliness.

I heard some very interesting things, but mainly how important shared experiences are to humans. Tests have proven that sharing something intensifies the joy. Or the sadness, depending on the experience.

It has also been proven, that people who have nearly no interaction with others, can easily slip into sadness, then depression, and they can even become psychotic!

That is why so many people are unhappy in a marriage, but they cannot pinpoint the source of the unhappiness. It is because often there are no points of real, deep contact between spouses. They can superficially chat about their work, or maintenance that needs to be done on the house, but they cannot talk about ‘real’ things, things that matter to them. (you know- ‘he just doesn’t care’ or ‘she doesn’t get me’) She is not able to talk about her fear of something happening to her children, because he just mocks her and tells her to ‘get over it’. He does not realize that it is actually a deep seated fear, that she cannot dismiss. He doesn’t talk to her about his fear of his business going under, because he is supposed to be the provider. All they ever talk about, IF they talk, is fluffy stuff… Fortunately, the psychologist said, that if it is important to both of them, this sharing of issues that really matter to them, can be learnt.

People who live on their own, are of course more prone to depression and worse. They are often awkward communicators anyway, and have very little to no contact with people, especially on a deeper level. Humans need validation from others, they need shared experiences. He suggested that if you are in that situation, living on your own, that you make it a mission to join a club of some kind. A book club, stamp collectors, a model airplane club, whatever rocks your boat – join a club where you can at the very least talk about something that matters to you, or that you have an interest in – it is important for your mental well -being.

I am often alone, and it is not always easy for me, but mostly I prefer being on my own to being forced to make idle chit-chat. Still, I can feel when it gets to be too much for me, and I try my best to then make some contact with others. I’ve gone to movies on my own, I’ve gone on holiday on my own, I’ve even (often) eaten out on my own, but it is never as enjoyable as when you do it with someone, if you share your experience with someone else.

Don’t let yourself fall into a deep, dark hole of depression – go out and find a group where you can be part of ‘something’. It will make all the difference.

Until next time, stay healthy, stay happy. 🙂

Time, and life.

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All good things come to an end…

 

The quality, not the longevity of one’s life is what is important.’ ~                                                                                                                           Martin Luther King Jr.

And just like that, 5 days have gone by since my last post!

Incredible how time flies…

I see it in many things. The rate at which my darling little granddaughter grows and develops – unbelievable. Counting back the days from when this ridiculous lockdown started – freakin’ scary! The days since my last post – what? 5 days? And that is how easily it happens – if you blink, it is 2 years since your last post, so I have to consciously sit down and write, because if I don’t…

You know how us humans are always wishing for something in the future? How we wish our lives away? It is probably normal, because we only do that in the hope of something better in future than what we have right now. I seriously try my best not to do that anymore, because life is charging ahead at a dizzying tempo. I’m trying to live for the moment, because my moments on earth is getting less and less, the more time passes.

I don’t say that to sound negative or morbid, it is a simple fact. I am fortunate to be healthy and still working, and I can only pray that I continue to be so robust in health. Even if I do, I am not a young woman any more, even if I don’t feel a day older than 35! – and that means time on earth is running out.

So living deliberately is important to me. Living day to day, and doing what I love and enjoy, is important. Spending time with people you love is very important. (A very difficult situation for me, because my loved ones are all too far away to see regularly, except for my SO*.) Avoiding those that cause stress and unhappiness in your life is also very important.

In order to enjoy life in a world that is hell bent on destroying one’s peace of mind, choose wisely – what you watch on TV, what you read, what you listen to, how you interact with others. All of that influence your life and happiness way more than you think.

So, until we chat again, blog friends, live well, stay safe! 🙂

*SO – significant other.