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Monthly Archives: December 2020

Limbo.

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Esther Lui for NPR.

To me, this period between Christmas and New Year is like being in limbo.

Definition of in limbo, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary ~ 1in a forgotten or ignored place, state, or situation. 2: in an uncertain or undecided state or condition.

The one big celebration (Christmas) is over and done with, the next one is around the corner. In between nothing much happens, except to wait uncomfortably and/or impatiently for the next party to start.

In South Africa, we have our long summer holiday over December. Normally from around the first week in December, for more or less five weeks. Most people go away to the seaside for a big part of those 5 weeks, others have to stay home because they work harder than ever over the holiday season.

Whether you work or go away, some kind of get-together is normally planned to ring in the NEW YEAR! Yaaaay…

South Africans like to party and spend time with friends, and a ‘braai’ is mostly the way to do that over the December holidays, and most especially on New Year’s eve. I still have to do a post on a ‘braai’ for you, so you can fully understand the concept. In short, it involves the cooking of meat over an open fire, but it is so, so much more.

This picture gives you some idea of what ‘braai’ means… 😉

We (as in my SO* and myself), like most people, like to spend some time with friends, but somehow we end up being home on New Year’s, and in bed before midnight. I think we have decided some time ago, that time passes inexorably, one year comes and then goes, and the next one is there to take its place. Nothing much there to celebrate.

This (nearly) past year, was not deemed to be particularly kind to us, so we will not be sorry to see it go, but at the same time we have no idea what the new year has in stall for us, so we are not specifically excited to welcome it into our lives. Let’s wait and see…

So, I am quite positive that we will spend this New Year’s eve at home, in front of the TV, with no regrets – not that this year is finally over, or that we are not out celebrating.

Are you planning a party or celebration of some kind? If so, please put your safety and that of your family first.

*SO – significant other.

(Un)Thankfulness.

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Rose with a happy inhabitant…

“The hardest arithmetic to master, is that which enables us to count our blessings.” ~ Eric Hoffer

I still battle with this.

I tend to only see that which is making life hard for me. I yearn for things not meant for me. I crave things I cannot afford. I want to go where I am not aloud to go (once a-flippin-gain, thanks Covid!). I mope. I sulk. I am not content.

All because I forget to be thankful for what I’ve got. I always want more. Maybe I’m not meant to have more. Maybe it’s time to accept the things I cannot change. If I can manage that, I will become rich, and happy and at peace.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. (Note to self…)

Best wishes to all…

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Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

To everybody who celebrate Christmas – may you have a peaceful, blessed day with your loved ones, however many of you manage to be together. Let’s all hope that the trials and tribulations of 2020 will never be repeated again…

My inner bitch.

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Photo by Jan Kopu0159iva on Pexels.com

I have never considered myself as being bitchy.

But. Yes, BUT. I’ve learned throughout my life that inside all of us reside different persona, that surface at different times. You may be mostly nice, kind, stingy, generous, bitchy, mean, an optimist, a grumpy pants, etc., but there will be times that your other personalities come to the fore, for short periods, or longer, depending on the situation. Of course, that is normal. Human beings have personalities with lots of facets.

So, although I am ( or I used to be – I’ve grown up and become wise) generally reticent, shy-ish, quiet – an introvert – obviously some of my other traits appear from time to time. But when the right (or wrong) buttons are pushed, I morph into someone completely different. Not always an obvious change, it can start subtly, on the inside. I will watch, and listen. And that inner change might eventually surface if the other person persists in poking at the same bloody button.

Weirdly enough, that has not happened often in my life, as it takes quite a lot to get me to that point. I can suffer in silence for a long time. Once you have pushed my bitch-button too hard and too often, though, everything changes. My attitude towards that person will change, and I will never see them in the same light or treat them the same again. And it can never be reversed.

I do not like that part of myself, but I do think that it is necessary. It is part of my self-preservation. I do that to protect myself. And I won’t apologize for it either. All I’m saying is that what you get from me, is dependant on how you treat me. I was brought up to have respect for others, their belongings and their rights and as long as I am treated the same, we will get along like a house on fire. You will never even believe that I have an inner bitch! A lot of people don’t. 🙂

I know she’s there, though. And she doesn’t mind hibernating for long stretches at a time. Until she is poked.

Here’s to endings, and the promise of better things to come…or not ?

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Photo by VisionPic .net on Pexels.com

Cheers! We are creeping closer to Christmas day, and shortly after that, the end of this year.

We do Christmas softly and quietly, and New Year the same, maybe even more so. Weirdly enough, we do not have specific traditions at Christmas time, we sort of go with the flow. I do not do resolutions, ever. Not at New Year’s in any case. I often decide to change things, in my house, in my life – but that happens whenever I need to do it throughout the year.

I came across this post I did on Instagram nearly year ago, and it really shocked me. How is it that what I (we) felt about last year, we are feeling this year – x10!!!! I had forgotten all about it… :

I know, right!!! We thought 2019 was bad! I cannot even remember why… What I do know, is that it fades in comparison to what 2020 brought us.

There must be a lesson in that, surely?

  • Be happy with what you’ve got now, because you don’t know what’s coming.
  • Live every day as if it’s your last.
  • Live in the moment.
  • Appreciate the little things in life.
  • and really be thankful for everything you’ve got.
  • Never make any assumptions re the future.
  • You can make plans until you are blue in the face, that doesn’t mean it will come to fruition. “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.
  • Show and tell people close to you that you love them.

I will most definitely approach 2021 with a lot more caution, and a good deal of trepidation. I will let go of 2020 gladly but respectfully. I will absolutely NOT assume next year is going to be any better, but one can surely hope…