No, not the same as my inner bitch.
Somedays I am just so frustrated that I can start punching and breaking things. But I never do. Or to be hundred percent honest, I hardly ever do. I also hide my true feelings most of the time. I may seem a bit more distant than normal (I go very quiet), but other than that people will hardly notice that I am upset or angry. I do not like confrontation, I do not like fighting, so I’ve learnt to suppress my feelings.
On the days that I unleash those bottled up emotions, it is not a pretty sight. And those closest to me, bear the brunt of it, which is normally my SO*. It does not happen often – actually very rarely, so there is that…
Recent circumstances have tested my ‘patience’ to the limit. This pandemic shit is really pushing my buttons at the moment. I want to start blaming someone for this frustration, but as usual, I won’t. And for the most part, I can’t, because, COVID! But I cannot help thinking that if ‘this’ or ‘that’ was different, this situation would not have happened.
I am big on changing things that are not working, but some things just can’t be changed, no matter how much I think about it, or wish it. So I have to learn to live with it, stoically. Even if it is killing me inside.
I might just yell at my poor, patient SO, or treat him shitty a couple of times (- never intentionally though!!!) This time around I may even break a few things, or kick something. But you will never know.
*SO – Significant Other