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My passive aggressive side.

Posted on
Dramatic sunset, many years ago.

No, not the same as my inner bitch.

Somedays I am just so frustrated that I can start punching and breaking things. But I never do. Or to be hundred percent honest, I hardly ever do. I also hide my true feelings most of the time. I may seem a bit more distant than normal (I go very quiet), but other than that people will hardly notice that I am upset or angry. I do not like confrontation, I do not like fighting, so I’ve learnt to suppress my feelings.

On the days that I unleash those bottled up emotions, it is not a pretty sight. And those closest to me, bear the brunt of it, which is normally my SO*. It does not happen often – actually very rarely, so there is that…

Recent circumstances have tested my ‘patience’ to the limit. This pandemic shit is really pushing my buttons at the moment. I want to start blaming someone for this frustration, but as usual, I won’t. And for the most part, I can’t, because, COVID! But I cannot help thinking that if ‘this’ or ‘that’ was different, this situation would not have happened.

I am big on changing things that are not working, but some things just can’t be changed, no matter how much I think about it, or wish it. So I have to learn to live with it, stoically. Even if it is killing me inside.

I might just yell at my poor, patient SO, or treat him shitty a couple of times (- never intentionally though!!!) This time around I may even break a few things, or kick something. But you will never know.

*SO – Significant Other

About zelmare

Hallo to you from the southern most part of the African continent - South Africa!! To put my life in a nutshell : I raised 3 absolutely fabulous kids (I'm sure you will hear a lot about them, since I am a very proud mama), I became a doting grandmother two years ago and recently bought a house in the Western Cape, and in doing so, realized a dream I've had for many, many years. I love traveling, which I don't do often enough. I love living a simple life - cooking, gardening, knitting and of course, blogging. There is still a lot I want to do and see in my lifetime, but time will tell how much of that I can actually accomplish. I am looking forward to meeting a lot of lovely new friends and interesting people here on WordPress! :)

2 responses »

  1. Ek hoor jou mammie!!! Ek wil sê dinge gaan beter raak maar…. ❤

    Reply

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