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Category Archives: Feelings

How do you know when to stop?

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Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

I’ve got a conundrum for you to help me solve. Please.

If you have a situation that isn’t working for you – a job, a relationship, a hobby – anything that you’ve been doing for a while, maybe even years, but it just does not deliver the way you thought it would (or at all), when do you you stop trying? Where do you draw the line?

There are a million clever little quotes about not giving up, and how every failure is a test of your character, how hard work pays off, how success is just around the corner, etc. But surely somewhere along the line you can decide that you’ve rammed your head up against that same wall for long enough, and it is time to bow out gracefully? There should be no shame in that. I think sometimes to enable yourself to move forward or onward, you have to quit doing what you are doing? Also, the more you do something that isn’t working, how do you keep up your enthusiasm for it?

I am writing this with my own job situation in mind, but as I write, a few others’ scenarios come to mind. I know I’m not the only one in this situation, but I also know everybody handles these things differently. I can’t think that you keep doggedly on and on, believing that by never giving up, you’ll eventually reach the success you want. What if you don’t? What if you keep on for years, always living with the stress of things not going according to plan, not working out? I know we often carry on past the expiry date, for different reasons – what people will think, peer pressure, pressure or disapproval from friends and family, social standing, finances.

In the meantime, you could have tried something else, and that could’ve been a huge success. Maybe.

In certain situations it becomes very clear that the time has arrived to draw the line, and you often don’t even think in terms of failure, only to move on. But other times things are a bit murky, and complicated…

I don’t know. It seems to me to be one of those situations where you are damned if you do, and damned if you don’t…

On a slightly more positive note: Roomys The Cat is doing okay. Not great, but not too bad either. He is eating a bit, but he hardly moves (which is probably best). So I am watching him like a hawk, and hopefully he’ll continue to do better every day. (If you are new here, and are wondering what this update is all about, please see previous 3 posts.)

Roomys in his little lair….

Stinky Sunday.

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I took Roomys out for some sun today.

My poor cat came home from the vet today.

He is not a happy camper, and neither am I. He hurts, and he cries. He battles to walk, and when he does, it is all wonky – his back half looks like it’s got a life all of its own. I love him to bits, but I’m not sure at this point if it won’t be more humane to put him down. (Which I probably won’t be able to do anyway…)

He was most probably hit by a car on Thursday morning (see previous 2 posts), and although it is not clear from the X-rays, there is a very good chance that he has a broken pelvis. The vet reckons as long as the pelvis doesn’t go out of shape, and I can keep him as quiet as possible (how does one do that with a cat?), there is a good chance that he might heal.

What bothers me is that in the meantime, he cannot be a cat, he can hardly move because he hurts, and nobody knows how long it will take for him to heal, if he heals.

I hate seeing him like this… 😦

Is there anybody out there who went through something similar with a pet? Did the fracture eventually heal, and how long did it take? I would love to think that he’ll soon be his old self, but I wonder, even if he heals, if he’ll ever be the same. Probably not.

Oi, it breaks my heart, poor fellow.

Tidbits on a Saturday morning.

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Sunset on the farm, a few years ago.

Yesterday was a good day.

At least a lot better than the previous one which started off with my poor cat being hit by a car.

Said cat is still at the vet’s – he has a suspected broken pelvis, but it is not very clear on the x-rays. He did at least stand up yesterday, and even took a few steps, but he hasn’t eaten yet. So hopefully he’ll eat something today, and then I can fetch him to come and recuperate at home.

I worked quite hard in my garden yesterday. I had to do something to the guesthouse garden, because it was looking terribly shabby and uninviting. I still need to do a few things today before the guests arrive, and it is still very far from done, but at least we’ve started and it is already looking a lot better. I will put up some pictures in due course.

I am extremely pleased with myself. I’ve been trying to grow hydrangeas for a few years now, and so far they’ve all died on me. But… This time around, not only is this one growing, it has flowered!!! And there is a second flower on its way!!! I am beyond chuffed. I know – small things and all that, but at the moment, that is where I find my joy. 🙂

Marshmallow pink hydrangea.

And despite having had a physical day yesterday, I slept badly last night. As I did the few nights before that. Just when I started bragging that I’ve discovered the secret to a good night’s sleep, I start waking up around 3 am every night again. Ugh. Some nights I drift off again after tossing and turning for hours (of at least it feels that way), last night that did not happen.

So, I had an early start to my day. Not even 8 am yet, and two cups of coffee and the first load of washing is done! Hopefully I’ll keep up the pace and have an even better (more constructive) day than yesterday!

I finished a knitting project yesterday, which I was all excited about, but then it fell a bit flat. I tried a patterned brioche beanie, and it is really too big. Disappointing. I had another look at the pattern, and it is actually the size it should be, but I find it to be larger than what I would prefer. In general, it didn’t come out too badly, so I’ll give it another whirl, maybe with smaller needles to tighten it up a bit. What do you think? Since it is reversible, which side do you prefer?

I have to say that the picture doesn’t do the one on the right justice. The colours are a soft pistachio green and a washed out purple, done with a 50% acrylic/ 50% cotton yarn. It feels squishy and soft, but like I said, I would like it a bit tighter.

So, all you good folk and gentle people, you all have yourself a good weekend!!! If it can’t be good, at least make it a safe one. 🙂

Bits and pieces.

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Trying to evoke peace and tranquility into my life by using this picture…Photo by Sindre Stru00f8m on Pexels.com

Wednesday Evening:

I’ve been knitting furiously for the last two days.

I know, I know … knitting is my therapy, I’ve been knitting furiously, so…

Don’t judge! Part of it has been therapeutic, but also, there is not a lot going on in my life at the moment, so I need (NEEEEEED) to keep myself busy.

I am slowly but surely working up to the big splitting-the-guesthouse-into-two thing (see the first mention in this previous blog), and at the moment the plan is to start that on the 22nd of March. I’ve got bookings till then, so I’ll block a week out for the reno to happen from the 22nd. Yay! I am a bit nervous about it, but it has to happen.

So I’ve been spending time on the laptop, sourcing the things I’ll need and making some phone calls, going to local shops to see what I can find here – our town is smallish, so it is not uncommon to have to look a bit further afield for what you need.

At least I’ll have new knitting projects and the guesthouse reno to blog about in the near future, how cool is that!!! Wink-wink… (At least it is not the whining session I started this post off with, until I threw it in the bin, so to speak.)

Make yourselves ready for a lot of ‘before’ and ‘after’ pics!

Thursday morning:

Roomys. (Ice cream)

I know this does not happen often, but I just could not finish this post last night. I wrote and deleted at least 3 times, probably more.

My day started horribly. With blood curdling crying outside my window. Turns out it is my cat, and he was somehow hurt in the night. I assume, until a vet tells me differently, that he was run over by a car, because his back legs seem to not be working, and he cries every time he tries to move. This cat has an interesting history, and he is loved by the whole family – it will break my heart if we have to lose him this way.

So now I have to wait for the vet to open in just over an hour so I can get my cat seen to. 😦

Later on Thursday:

It is now about 3 hours later than the previous piece about my cat. I’ve heard from the vet – she can see nothing broken in his back or legs, but she says it looks like he was under a car, because he is bruised badly. She is going to do one more X-ray to check his pelvis and bladder, but she thinks he’ll be okay. Thank goodness, it’s a relief. Phew…. 🙂

PEACE.

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Peace…

See this pic ↑ ?

That right there is peace.

To me at least. (I saw these beautiful ladies on my way back from a neighbouring town today, and I had to stop to say ‘hi’ and take a few pictures.)

Just like a few places make me feel at home, a few things/places allow me to feel peace, in my heart and soul.

I farmed with cattle for about 7 years, and that was some of the most fulfilling years of my life. Of course it was really hard work too, but being amongst the cattle, especially very early in the morning or in the evening, brought a feeling to my heart that is very hard to describe. The sound of them lowing softly, or pulling the stalks of grass off the tuft, and munching it when everything else is quiet all around – magic.

But of course, life happens and things change. Life is a journey – onward and upward.

Fortunately, I now live close to the coast, which is another place where I can feel peace. A bit weird, since the sea crashing onto the beach is everything but peaceful, but the breaking waves start falling into a rhythm of their own when you watch and listen for long enough. The sounds, together with the smell and the breathtaking beauty of the ocean is healing in itself.

Closer to home, my back garden is a place of peace – mostly. That is, if one of the neighbours is not cutting grass or entertaining visitors, or busy with a grinder or something else that makes a noise… But certain times of the day, I kick off my shoes, and I take my coffee or glass of wine, and I go sit in my garden with my toes in the grass. I listen to all the different species of birds going about their business, I enjoy the breeze (hopefully!) and I unwind. Peace.

Where do you feel peace? It is important to know that, because we all need our pockets of peace every single day. 🙂