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Category Archives: frustration

Cool weather, and fibre (the internet kind)on one day!!

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Photo by Katie Goertzen on Pexels.com

I am enjoying a wonderfully cool and cloudy day. πŸ™‚

We had fibre installed today, after 4 years of intense frustration as far as internet goes. Our previous service provider was our erstwhile national telephone service, Telkom, but they’ve been going downhill over the last number of years, to the point where just about nobody uses their services anymore.

So, after the years of anger and frustration, I am sincerely hoping that we are at last going to be able to connect and stay connected without the continuous dips we have grown to expect. I do need to be able to have stable internet so I can talk to my children in Canada and Ireland, something which has been close to impossible the last few weeks. And since fibre has at last come to our town, it is time to upgrade!

About them feelings – I know that when you are in a situation that you can do nothing about, it does not help stressing about it. If you are not able to change anything, do not get upset or angry. That is, my head knows all of that. My heart is another matter. My heart is a rebel. My heart wants to get up and shout obscenities to the stupid people who are so inconsistent with their rules and regulations regarding Covid. They are messing with people’s lives. I would like for them to explain to the world how they figure out some of their crazy rules. And my anger and frustration will continue flaring up from time to time until this madness ends.

Mostly my head manages to control my heart, but I feel like a ticking time bomb most of the time. It has to stop soon…

On to the guesthouse. It is still not quite finished. Little things are stopping it from being operational, and somehow we (and by we I mean me) are just not getting around to it. The only big thing still to be done, is I have to buy a bed for the second unit. And I keep putting that off. I will just have to go out and get that dang bed, so I can start advertising and hopefully get some guests in.

A day of mixed feelings, but overall a good one – we’ve got fibre now!! And I’ve got a date, honey and nut loaf in the oven! Soon to be enjoyed with afternoon coffee. πŸ™‚

I hope you are having a good day out there. Let me know!!!

Who are you? (oo-oo, oo-oo…)

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Photo by Sora Shimazaki on Pexels.com

I’ve been thinking…

Why do us humans lately need to be told who we are? And by that I don’t mean the DNA kind of who are you. There are endless lists all over – magazines, social media – that can ‘tell you’ who, what where, why – if you answer the next 6/10/20 questions.

We can tell you your personality type!!! Are you a true introvert? What is your IQ/EQ? Are you a typical Leo? What is the status of your relationship? What kind of mom are you? – on and on and ON!!!!

Does nobody know who they are anymore? Do we really need our laptops to tell us? Why? Don’t we trust ourselves anymore?

The internet is invasive. It climbs into your head and buggers up your brain and self confidence.

How have people managed for thousands of years without the internet to tell them who they are? Has humankind been floating around in a state of limbo for eons, waiting for the internet to happen so we can all discover who we are?

RI.DI.CU.LOUS. !!!!! What utter BS…

Of course you know who you are. You know you don’t like lots of people around you. You know you don’t like talking to strangers. You know well enough whether you are brilliant, or average as far as intelligence goes. You know you need to loose weight, because if you look at yourself in the mirror, you can see it! You might choose to ignore it, but you know it. You know you are not good with Algebra, but you cook like an angel. You hate running, but you love dancing.

You get what I’m saying?

Why do we give even the slightest bit of attention to all these people making all these stupid little questionnaires, just to make us doubt ourselves? Stop doing that!!! Take back your confidence, your self-knowledge, your life, and let those little lists die in cyber space.

Trust yourself. If you are giving it your all being a mum, and your child/children are happy and healthy, why do you need someone else ( a faceless, nameless someone behind a computer screen) to tell you you are doing okay? If your life makes you happy, you don’t need someone to tell you you are doing it wrong. Go with your gut.

Be who you are without any excuses or apologies to anyone. Own it.

PS. Sorry about the heading, I couldn’t resist – I hope some of you get the connection….

The body battle.

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Silhouettes from thegrio.com

At what point in life can a person decide to stop worrying about diet and exercise?

Asking for a friend… πŸ˜‰

According to me, I’ve been battling my weight my whole life. With hindsight, not so much, because I’ve actually been trying to conform to the world/media’s idea of what a woman’s body should look like. You know, tall and slim, long legs, hardly any curves. And it was a constant battle of different diets for many years, since that is not the way I am built.

Then came the few years around my divorce that I was incredibly happy with my body. I was slim, and tiny. I could wear anything and look good. I didn’t have to watch what I was eating, and my weight stayed the same. It was heaven!

I slowly started picking up a few kg’s again a few years ago. I didn’t like it, but it was not enough that I had to go out and buy new clothes, I just rounded out a little bit.

Few years on, and my body has changed so much, I cannot look at myself in the mirror anymore. I have not really picked up weight, but my body underwent some metamorphosis. And honestly, I am not eating more. I am also tired of watching what I eat the whole time. I like good food, and I enjoy a glass of wine. I am not huge on sweet things, although I do enjoy a good dessert now and then, but I’ve always limited myself because I didn’t want to pick up weight. I might be a tad less active nowadays, but I enjoy being peaceful and quiet at home.

Also…*cringe* I have to consider the fact that I’m getting older. I am developing a real ‘granny’ body – of the old fashioned kind, let me hasten to add, since I know grannies these days are not necessarily cute, cuddly and rosy cheeked anymore.

I also know that I could change the situation with exercise. I’ve been trying to do that regularly for a few months now, and I can just not motivate myself to do it. I start, and then stop. Start, stop. I used to exercise 5 times a week, for many years, now I cannot get myself to do it 2x a week!

I really, really want to look sleek and fit again, but I really, really don’t feel like exercising anymore!!!! 😦

Does anyone know of an easy way out? Please? Anyone?

(Un)Thankfulness.

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Rose with a happy inhabitant…

“The hardest arithmetic to master, is that which enables us to count our blessings.” ~ Eric Hoffer

I still battle with this.

I tend to only see that which is making life hard for me. I yearn for things not meant for me. I crave things I cannot afford. I want to go where I am not aloud to go (once a-flippin-gain, thanks Covid!). I mope. I sulk. I am not content.

All because I forget to be thankful for what I’ve got. I always want more. Maybe I’m not meant to have more. Maybe it’s time to accept the things I cannot change. If I can manage that, I will become rich, and happy and at peace.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. (Note to self…)

Stirring the pot…

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Photo by Maria Orlova on Pexels.com

I find the world, as it is at the moment, to be a very spineless place.

On the surface, at least… A place where people are too scared to voice their opinions for fear of being attacked by people who differ from them. A place where everybody is brain washed into feeling exactly the same (or pretend that they are), because it’s the ‘right’ thing to do. It does more or less divide the world into two – ‘them’ and ‘us’, but the one half doesn’t dare say what they think and feel out loud – the silent half.

I refuse to believe that the majority of people on this earth feel the same. So obviously a big part of earth’s population doesn’t come right out and say what they believe in. And if they do, they are called names… I would love to hear someone’s opinion of how all that came about. I believe the press/media had a huge role in that, but the mechanics of how this subtle subjugation was implemented, is beyond me.

I figured some of that out by reactions to my blogs. The moment I write something just remotely controversial, and I mean remotely, my ‘likes’ drop like dead flies. (Not that I have thousands, even hundreds, of likes, but with small numbers it is even more obvious.) It is as if people go – ‘can’t touch that’. ‘Cannot be seen to like this.’ ‘Cannot comment on that.’ ‘Too dangerous, not even acknowledging that I saw that. ‘Let’s pretend I never saw that.’

I find it sad. I, for one, will never attack someone, verbally or otherwise, for disagreeing with me. I might argue with you, but I won’t get nasty. I respect people’s individuality, and their right to their own opinions and feelings, like I mentioned in my previous post. Also –

β€œMost people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
― Stephen R. Covey,Β The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

I have often experienced the above quote – it is important to really, really listen to what people say – one often assumes that you know what they think and feel. You don’t. Listen – you might be surprised at how much of what others think, is in agreement with what you think.

Anyone out there up for a dare? I dare you to reply to this. Give me an idea of why you think this is happening at the moment. Or do you even think it is happening? Maybe you think it is my imagination and I’m just stirring now? I promise, I am not an undercover anything.

Too heavy for a Thursday? Or any day? Mmmm… πŸ˜‰