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Category Archives: Writing

What breaks a mind?

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I have always been fascinated by people. I do not love people, I am a serious introvert, who gets overwhelmed by too much interaction with people, but people and their behaviour fascinate me.

One of my main questions around human behaviour and interaction is this: what is it that ‘breaks’ someone? What is it that changes their personalities and turn them into monsters? And why does it only happen to some people?

Look at serious criminals. The psychopaths. The really MEAN ones. Why are they that way? What happened to them in life that turned them into the monster they’ve become?

“They’ve been abused as a child” – I hear you say. Yes, a lot of them will say that is what happened. But there are a lot more children that were abused as children, who did not turn into psychopaths. They might also become abusers who hurt their children (which is bad enough, don’t get me wrong), and they might not. But they do not turn into people who go out, find other people and kill them horribly, get satisfaction out of the deed, and don’t stop until they are stopped by getting caught.

Or, they develop multiple personalities, so they can get away from their realities. And some of those personalities can also commit horrible crimes.

You even get children from the same family, that grew up in the same abusive situation, who turn out completely differently. The one becomes a lawyer/cop/doctor, the other becomes a psychopath.

Are some people born evil? Or are they born with a much more fragile mind than most others?

I know that there is no clear answer to this yet. Many theories maybe, but no definite answers. (This piece by Paul J Zak gives a good explanation of why people could be/become evil ) https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-moral-molecule/201109/why-some-people-are-evil

But, I wonder if that will ever be  really clear to us? Somehow I don’t think so…

You might ask me why I’m being so dark and serious on a Friday afternoon. I don’t know. I do know it is a question that I’ve been pondering for years, but it might be that I am asking this because of the horrific murders being committed on South African farms lately. It hurts to hear the facts of those murders, and one cannot hear them and not wonder – WHY?

Until next time!

 

Introspection – Things I learnt about myself during lockdown…

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A part of ‘The Twelve Apostles’ (mountain range behind table Mountain) sticking through the clouds on our drive round Chapman’s Peak two weekends ago.

I’ve learnt a few things about myself during this lockdown period. (One would think I know myself by now, given my age… )

* I need to get a life.

My life hardly changed during this time, isn’t that sad? I always knew I was an introvert that doesn’t like people too much, but I never realized that I’m basically a hermit. I miss my children something fierce, but two of them live too far away to see regularly anyway. I have a few friends that I do feel it is time to see again, except I can’t, what with South Africa’s ridiculous rules around lockdown. I go grocery shopping when I need to, and other than that I am quite content to be home and do my own thing. Maybe I need to get another hobby, one I actually have to leave the house to do… (Oh, I do miss eating out now and then!)

*I am a lot more aggressive than I ever thought

Oops… I even consider closing my FB account, because I can get SO riled up by some of the things I read there! I really try and stay away from the news, because MAN, do I get angry!!! Especially with things happening in our country, that makes absolutely NO sense whatever! I do believe that one has to have an idea of what’s going on in the world, but maybe I should just float along in my own little bubble – best for me, and better for the world around me! (Could I maybe put this down to the frustration and uncertainty of Covid-19 and lockdown?)

*I am a lot lazier than I always thought…

Another oops… Not something I am proud of, I can promise you! I love a clean house, but I do not like doing all the cleaning, all the time. We are spoiled in SA, we have people that come in and clean our houses, should we want that (most people do), and I used to have someone come in once a week to clean, and iron. With lockdown, of course, some of that has changed, so we have to do everything ourselves. And sad to say, I really have to give myself a serious talking to, before I get off my backside to do some cleaning. (I would much rather sit and knit, crochet, or lately, blog.)

*I can get by with a lot less than I thought.

At last a positive!! I know now that we can live on a lot less money than I previously thought. That is mainly because I realized that we need a lot less food than we always have in the house. During this time, we tried to go out as little as possible, so we would try and stretch whatever we had in the house to last another day or two, make plans for meals with what we had around. Which brings me to the last point:

*I am a lot more resourceful than I ever gave myself credit for!

Yay, another positive! Because of the previous point, I managed to make a lot of tasty meals with very little.

I refuse to say that I am glad Covid-19 happened to come along in my lifetime, but it did make me sit back and take stock, it made me think about a few touchy subjects, and it taught me a few things, which is all in all probably not a bad thing.

 

Until next time, blogfriends! 🙂

Musings about feelings…

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My back garden.

It is mid -winter here in South Africa.

In general, winter has not been too cold, except for a week here and  a few days there, which has been icy cold. At the moment it is cold inside, but divine weather outside, so here I am, sitting with my back warming in the sun, listening to birdsong, enjoying the outdoors while writing my post. (My view from where I’m sitting. ^^)

I have to admit I am disappointed in the fact that things seem to be very slow here in blog country, I expected it to be as lively as it was 2 years ago, but there you go – the only constant in life is change!!!

So, I’m going to give it a while and see how things go. I do enjoy interaction with other people. I am definitely not only writing here for my own enjoyment, I am telling you some things that I think about and feel, and it would be wonderful to get some feedback on how you see things. You are, of course, welcome to have different opinions, please never agree with me because you feel it’s the right thing to do, or ignore my post because you do not agree with me. Tell me. I like some healthy debate!

I do feel there are way too much ‘political correctness’ these days – everybody gets hurt and feels insulted by everything other people say, and most of the times, it is only because other people see things differently, which they are allowed to, as far as I’m concerned. And everybody is so very very careful of what they say and how they say it… My goodness, it is starting to be a bit ridiculous out there. So feel comfortable with disagreeing with me!

While I’m waiting for some response, I am going to do some knitting, and then pour myself a glass of wine and just sit back and relax…

Until next time, blog friends! 🙂

 

Huge, as milestones go…

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As promised yesterday, I am going to tell you about another huge event that happened since I last posted (since the time before yesterday, which was 2 years ago!) And just so you know, this is typically me – either full on, or totally off. I haven’t posted for 2 years, now I want to post twice a day…

I had the privilege of raising 3 children. Three very amazing human beings, I must add (as most parents probably think about their children). And they left home for varsity, and then one by one they started working, and going about their lives.

Then, of course, as life goes, one by one, they met someone and fell in love. My daughter got married and in the same year, she and her husband moved to Canada – big tears…

But, people, then…then after many years (or that’s what it felt like to me), they decided to start a family, and last year January, I became a grandmother for the first time!!! Oh, the joy….

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I am now a proud, doting grandmother, and I will not apologize for it! My little granddaughter is the light of my life, and she brings me so much joy. From a distance, of course, since she is in Canada, and I am in South Africa.

The distance is a sore point, I can not lie about it. I am so pleased that my children have grown up to be independent human beings, because that is how I tried to raise them. But if I could have a say, if I had a choice, I would prefer to have them closer. I would like to see my little angel more than twice in 18 months. I would love to be part of her life, and form some kind of bond with her.

The fact remains – I am a granny, I am chuffed to bits about it, and I adore my little granddaughter, and it is one of the best things that ever happened in my life.

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Hi, my name is…

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Hi, my name is Zelmaré, and I haven’t posted for years!

Haha…funny, not funny. I used to be addicted to blogging, couldn’t go a day without, and then, just like that, I stopped. Why, you may ask? I’ve asked myself that question, but have yet to come up with an answer…

Since the last time I wrote anything here (I honestly don’t even know when the last time was, I even had to change my password because I had forgotten the previous one!), a hell of a lot has happened in my life.

I should’ve checked when my last post was, because now I have to fly by the seat of my pants in terms of where to start … but here goes!

I was still farming in the northern province of Limpopo in South Africa then, and I had a few frustrations going on in my life, which made it difficult for me to be happy.

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I found my passion in cattle farming, relatively late in life. I loved every minute of the 7 years that I worked with these amazing creatures, but I had to make decisions regarding my life and happiness, so I had to give them up, which broke my heart… But hey – choices!!!

Which brings me to another one of the huge changes in my life in the last few years. I have always loved the Western Cape province of South Africa. I knew the area from a young age, and it has been a dream of mine for many years to live there (here). So, a few years ago, after I sold my house in the Northwest, I decided to buy a place somewhere in the Western Cape. I ended up buying a 130 year old cottage in Robertson 3 years ago, in the heart of the wine country, and made one of my dreams come true. At first my SO* and I shared our time between Limpopo and Robertson, since his whole life has been in Limpopo for the last 30 years, but last year, I moved here permanently and started a new life.

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My SO* is here with me as much as he can/wants to be, and if he misses his place up in the north too much, or when he has matters requiring his attention, he spends some time there. When he is here, we love exploring, or going for bike rides around the beautiful places in the area, or working on the cottage. All in all, a completely different life for me to the previous 9 years.

There was another huge event that took place recently and changed my life forever, but since I am determined to blog more often from now on, I will let that stand over for next time!

Until then, blog friends, stay safe!

*SO – significant other