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Age – is it just a number?

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Photo by Flora Westbrook on

I’ve always wondered about people who say age is just a number.

Do they want to deny their age? Do they fear aging? Have they got a significant other who is much older/younger than them?

My little granddaughter is now 2 years old, running around and getting more clever everyday, Covid 19 is around 15 months old, also running around untethered and learning how to duck and dive, and me? I am not a spring chicken anymore, but nor do I consider myself being old. Far from it.

I am of a ‘certain’ age… 😉

I feel 35 – which I’m not. I look ‘whatever’. And I am mumble-mumble years old.

So – I cannot pretend I am 35, much as I would love to get away with it. But I refuse to act my age too, because I simply do not feel it. A bit of a predicament…

For instance – if I wasn’t in a committed relationship, I would never consider going out with a guy in his forties, because a far as I’m concerned, we are on different planets. A guy in his forties would be in a completely different space to where I am. We would know different movies, music, people. It will not work for me. Our friends will be ‘into’ different things – I would feel uncomfortable with his friends, he would feel the same with mine.

Also – I cannot imagine myself in some of the clothes the thirty-somethings wear. I will not go and get myself old fuddy-duddy clothes, but I do consider what I wear, and where I wear it to. As far as I’m concerned, bare-midriff tops are a no-no for me. Slinky, tight fitting dresses and tops will be removed from my closet – they just do not work for me anymore.

I do not colour my hair anymore, and I haven’t done so for about four years now. What a relief !!! I’m going gray – fact. Why try and hide it? I am not young anymore – fact. Why try and bullshit people about my age? I do not consider myself old – fact. Do gray hair go with bare midriff tops and forty year old boyfriends? I do not think so.

With age, comes wisdom and certain privileges. I would not want to exchange that for anything else. I can see right through people and their nonsense – I love that. I can say ‘no’ without hesitation. I do not have to tolerate disrespect, or bad manners from anyone. I know who I am.

I do know that people go gray at different ages. I started going gray at 35 – yikes !!! So I coloured my hair for years, and that was fine, most women do that. But like I said, about 4 years ago, I decided enough is enough. No more pretending I am younger that I am. I am what and who I am. Take me, or leave me.

The body battle.

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At what point in life can a person decide to stop worrying about diet and exercise?

Asking for a friend… 😉

According to me, I’ve been battling my weight my whole life. With hindsight, not so much, because I’ve actually been trying to conform to the world/media’s idea of what a woman’s body should look like. You know, tall and slim, long legs, hardly any curves. And it was a constant battle of different diets for many years, since that is not the way I am built.

Then came the few years around my divorce that I was incredibly happy with my body. I was slim, and tiny. I could wear anything and look good. I didn’t have to watch what I was eating, and my weight stayed the same. It was heaven!

I slowly started picking up a few kg’s again a few years ago. I didn’t like it, but it was not enough that I had to go out and buy new clothes, I just rounded out a little bit.

Few years on, and my body has changed so much, I cannot look at myself in the mirror anymore. I have not really picked up weight, but my body underwent some metamorphosis. And honestly, I am not eating more. I am also tired of watching what I eat the whole time. I like good food, and I enjoy a glass of wine. I am not huge on sweet things, although I do enjoy a good dessert now and then, but I’ve always limited myself because I didn’t want to pick up weight. I might be a tad less active nowadays, but I enjoy being peaceful and quiet at home.

Also…*cringe* I have to consider the fact that I’m getting older. I am developing a real ‘granny’ body – of the old fashioned kind, let me hasten to add, since I know grannies these days are not necessarily cute, cuddly and rosy cheeked anymore.

I also know that I could change the situation with exercise. I’ve been trying to do that regularly for a few months now, and I can just not motivate myself to do it. I start, and then stop. Start, stop. I used to exercise 5 times a week, for many years, now I cannot get myself to do it 2x a week!

I really, really want to look sleek and fit again, but I really, really don’t feel like exercising anymore!!!! 😦

Does anyone know of an easy way out? Please? Anyone?