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Tag Archives: family ties

Goodbyes…

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Halfway home….a little bit of sun starting to show.

Yesterday was a shitty day. Because, saying goodbye… 😦

I had a weird few days, actually. Let’s start it off on Saturday. Like I mentioned in my previous post, it was my birthday on Saturday, and I would have been alone, had my sons not decided to come visit. So, the first part of the day was in expectation of their arrival.

My boys and daughter in law arrived much later than expected, but it was glorious seeing them! They brought with them some gifts and flowers, and as a lovely surprise, a beautiful birthday cake! We spent the rest of the day together, catching up, chatting, debating, eating, drinking, you know – all the things people do on birthdays when they haven’t seen each other for some time (thank you Covid! 😦 )

The cake…

But as with a lot of situations, at the back of my mind was the knowledge that these few days together had another purpose, aside from my birthday. My youngest actually came down to say goodbye to his brother and I, as he is leaving South Africa for Ireland. At the moment he is not emigrating, but he might decide to do just that while living abroad. Since it is the second of my three children leaving the country, you could maybe imagine how I’m feeling. (Even as I’m writing this, I find it difficult to breathe…) I do, how ever, wish him all the good luck in the world. I hope it is everything he imagines and more. I hope he will be happy, and successful in all his endeavours. With all my heart.

So, the whole visit was bittersweet, from start to end. We did make a few more special memories together, and we did have fun doing it, so please don’t imagine that it was only doom and gloom the whole time! 🙂 But the whole vibe changed perceptibly as the time to say goodbye drew near…

Yesterday, after saying goodbye and on my way home, the weather was atrocious – wild wind blowing, dark clouds, intermittent rain…As I got nearer to my house, there was more sun and less wind – I did somehow feel it was a metaphor for my feelings and the whole situation – things will get better, and I will get over this feeling of despondency…

The place of Sentiment in your life.

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My maternal grandparents ca. 1932

Sentiment.

How important is it to you? How does that influence your life? Or more to the point, how does it impact on your home, and your relationships?

I used to be very sentimental, and found it difficult to throw just about anything out, even after its usefulness had run out. But then I moved out of the house that has been home for more than twenty years, and as I was packing I realized that I have so much stuff from my childhood, and from my student life, and married life, I couldn’t possibly pack everything, and find a place for it in my new place of residence. I had to sift through everything and only keep what I could use, or things that really, really mattered.

I did not find this process easy, and I have repeated it a few more times since then. Every single time, I threw out a lot of things that I actually would rather have kept. But, I can only imagine what my current house would look like if I had kept everything that reminded me of something or someone.

Does that make me less sentimental? I do actually think so, because I can block the emotional reaction I have to certain things, and decide with my head instead of my heart, what I should throw out or keep.

I may be wrong, but I do think that there is very little place for sentiment in the modern era. In general ‘old stuff’ does not mean much to the younger generations. Or am I wrong?

Could it be that they grow into it? I remember years ago my mom wanted to give me a set of plates and side plates that I grew up with, and I pulled my nose up at it! Now, I would give anything to have that set.

There will always be things that I will never get rid of, (I’ll leave that to my children to do after I’m gone! 😉 ), but I do try and keep those to a minimum, so my home and my life don’t get smothered in ‘stuff’. I also think it is a way of moving on with one’s life, to not stay bogged down in the past.

My SO* is at this moment in his life busy cleaning up and throwing out, and he used to keep EVERYTHING… he calls me to tell me how he is suffering, how hard he finds it to throw things out, and I can hear in his voice how he hates it. Things that have been buried in boxes in the garage, mind you, but up to now, he could not get himself so far to sort and discard.

There is a time and place for everything, I always say. You will know when you are ready to clean up – for some it will be sooner than it will be for others.

Keep safe and happy until next time! 🙂

 

Huge, as milestones go…

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As promised yesterday, I am going to tell you about another huge event that happened since I last posted (since the time before yesterday, which was 2 years ago!) And just so you know, this is typically me – either full on, or totally off. I haven’t posted for 2 years, now I want to post twice a day…

I had the privilege of raising 3 children. Three very amazing human beings, I must add (as most parents probably think about their children). And they left home for varsity, and then one by one they started working, and going about their lives.

Then, of course, as life goes, one by one, they met someone and fell in love. My daughter got married and in the same year, she and her husband moved to Canada – big tears…

But, people, then…then after many years (or that’s what it felt like to me), they decided to start a family, and last year January, I became a grandmother for the first time!!! Oh, the joy….

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I am now a proud, doting grandmother, and I will not apologize for it! My little granddaughter is the light of my life, and she brings me so much joy. From a distance, of course, since she is in Canada, and I am in South Africa.

The distance is a sore point, I can not lie about it. I am so pleased that my children have grown up to be independent human beings, because that is how I tried to raise them. But if I could have a say, if I had a choice, I would prefer to have them closer. I would like to see my little angel more than twice in 18 months. I would love to be part of her life, and form some kind of bond with her.

The fact remains – I am a granny, I am chuffed to bits about it, and I adore my little granddaughter, and it is one of the best things that ever happened in my life.

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