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Tag Archives: frustration

Cool weather, and fibre (the internet kind)on one day!!

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Photo by Katie Goertzen on Pexels.com

I am enjoying a wonderfully cool and cloudy day. 🙂

We had fibre installed today, after 4 years of intense frustration as far as internet goes. Our previous service provider was our erstwhile national telephone service, Telkom, but they’ve been going downhill over the last number of years, to the point where just about nobody uses their services anymore.

So, after the years of anger and frustration, I am sincerely hoping that we are at last going to be able to connect and stay connected without the continuous dips we have grown to expect. I do need to be able to have stable internet so I can talk to my children in Canada and Ireland, something which has been close to impossible the last few weeks. And since fibre has at last come to our town, it is time to upgrade!

About them feelings – I know that when you are in a situation that you can do nothing about, it does not help stressing about it. If you are not able to change anything, do not get upset or angry. That is, my head knows all of that. My heart is another matter. My heart is a rebel. My heart wants to get up and shout obscenities to the stupid people who are so inconsistent with their rules and regulations regarding Covid. They are messing with people’s lives. I would like for them to explain to the world how they figure out some of their crazy rules. And my anger and frustration will continue flaring up from time to time until this madness ends.

Mostly my head manages to control my heart, but I feel like a ticking time bomb most of the time. It has to stop soon…

On to the guesthouse. It is still not quite finished. Little things are stopping it from being operational, and somehow we (and by we I mean me) are just not getting around to it. The only big thing still to be done, is I have to buy a bed for the second unit. And I keep putting that off. I will just have to go out and get that dang bed, so I can start advertising and hopefully get some guests in.

A day of mixed feelings, but overall a good one – we’ve got fibre now!! And I’ve got a date, honey and nut loaf in the oven! Soon to be enjoyed with afternoon coffee. 🙂

I hope you are having a good day out there. Let me know!!!

Planning ahead, not my strong point…

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Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

We had our first good, soaking seasonal rain!

That makes me very happy. It rained quite hard during the night, which didn’t bode well for sound sleep. Normally, I sleep like a baby when it rains, but I have guests in the guesthouse and the last time it rained (the previous season), the roof in the lounge sprung a leak. Ugh. So we ‘fixed’ it, but couldn’t know for sure if it was fixed until we had some violent wind and rain again. Which we did last night. Hence the sleeplessness…

But, YAY!, the guests were happy this morning, they had better sleep than I did because there was no leak.

I am trying to fine tune my planning for the reno of the guesthouse, and I am battling a bit. I found some wallpaper that I quite like in my friend’s stash, but I’m not exactly sure yet if I want to use it, and if I do, which one to use. I can’t decide on the colour schemes in the new bedrooms. There’s a bit of a problem with the positioning of the basin in the new bathroom and I’m not sure if I should try and solve it now, or while we are actually there, doing the work. I know myself, I’m over here all ‘planning ahead’, but when push comes to shove, everything will probably happen at the same time and only when we are in the thick of things!

So, why bother now? Mmmm…I heard you mumbling under your breath over there! I’m trying to be pro-active here people, give me a break! But it is just easier for me to make these decisions as things happen. I ‘see’ what I want to do then, and usually the colour scheme sorts itself out when I find one item I really love, like a scatter cushion, or a lamp or a rug or something. I can’t stop myself from trying to plan now either, because I am anxious to get things going. Oi…

In the meantime, I will be enjoying the wet earth, the cloudy weather, and I’ll keep on looking all over for inspiration to strike me! 😀

How do you know when to stop?

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Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

I’ve got a conundrum for you to help me solve. Please.

If you have a situation that isn’t working for you – a job, a relationship, a hobby – anything that you’ve been doing for a while, maybe even years, but it just does not deliver the way you thought it would (or at all), when do you you stop trying? Where do you draw the line?

There are a million clever little quotes about not giving up, and how every failure is a test of your character, how hard work pays off, how success is just around the corner, etc. But surely somewhere along the line you can decide that you’ve rammed your head up against that same wall for long enough, and it is time to bow out gracefully? There should be no shame in that. I think sometimes to enable yourself to move forward or onward, you have to quit doing what you are doing? Also, the more you do something that isn’t working, how do you keep up your enthusiasm for it?

I am writing this with my own job situation in mind, but as I write, a few others’ scenarios come to mind. I know I’m not the only one in this situation, but I also know everybody handles these things differently. I can’t think that you keep doggedly on and on, believing that by never giving up, you’ll eventually reach the success you want. What if you don’t? What if you keep on for years, always living with the stress of things not going according to plan, not working out? I know we often carry on past the expiry date, for different reasons – what people will think, peer pressure, pressure or disapproval from friends and family, social standing, finances.

In the meantime, you could have tried something else, and that could’ve been a huge success. Maybe.

In certain situations it becomes very clear that the time has arrived to draw the line, and you often don’t even think in terms of failure, only to move on. But other times things are a bit murky, and complicated…

I don’t know. It seems to me to be one of those situations where you are damned if you do, and damned if you don’t…

On a slightly more positive note: Roomys The Cat is doing okay. Not great, but not too bad either. He is eating a bit, but he hardly moves (which is probably best). So I am watching him like a hawk, and hopefully he’ll continue to do better every day. (If you are new here, and are wondering what this update is all about, please see previous 3 posts.)

Roomys in his little lair….

Tidbits on a Saturday morning.

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Sunset on the farm, a few years ago.

Yesterday was a good day.

At least a lot better than the previous one which started off with my poor cat being hit by a car.

Said cat is still at the vet’s – he has a suspected broken pelvis, but it is not very clear on the x-rays. He did at least stand up yesterday, and even took a few steps, but he hasn’t eaten yet. So hopefully he’ll eat something today, and then I can fetch him to come and recuperate at home.

I worked quite hard in my garden yesterday. I had to do something to the guesthouse garden, because it was looking terribly shabby and uninviting. I still need to do a few things today before the guests arrive, and it is still very far from done, but at least we’ve started and it is already looking a lot better. I will put up some pictures in due course.

I am extremely pleased with myself. I’ve been trying to grow hydrangeas for a few years now, and so far they’ve all died on me. But… This time around, not only is this one growing, it has flowered!!! And there is a second flower on its way!!! I am beyond chuffed. I know – small things and all that, but at the moment, that is where I find my joy. 🙂

Marshmallow pink hydrangea.

And despite having had a physical day yesterday, I slept badly last night. As I did the few nights before that. Just when I started bragging that I’ve discovered the secret to a good night’s sleep, I start waking up around 3 am every night again. Ugh. Some nights I drift off again after tossing and turning for hours (of at least it feels that way), last night that did not happen.

So, I had an early start to my day. Not even 8 am yet, and two cups of coffee and the first load of washing is done! Hopefully I’ll keep up the pace and have an even better (more constructive) day than yesterday!

I finished a knitting project yesterday, which I was all excited about, but then it fell a bit flat. I tried a patterned brioche beanie, and it is really too big. Disappointing. I had another look at the pattern, and it is actually the size it should be, but I find it to be larger than what I would prefer. In general, it didn’t come out too badly, so I’ll give it another whirl, maybe with smaller needles to tighten it up a bit. What do you think? Since it is reversible, which side do you prefer?

I have to say that the picture doesn’t do the one on the right justice. The colours are a soft pistachio green and a washed out purple, done with a 50% acrylic/ 50% cotton yarn. It feels squishy and soft, but like I said, I would like it a bit tighter.

So, all you good folk and gentle people, you all have yourself a good weekend!!! If it can’t be good, at least make it a safe one. 🙂

The body battle.

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Silhouettes from thegrio.com

At what point in life can a person decide to stop worrying about diet and exercise?

Asking for a friend… 😉

According to me, I’ve been battling my weight my whole life. With hindsight, not so much, because I’ve actually been trying to conform to the world/media’s idea of what a woman’s body should look like. You know, tall and slim, long legs, hardly any curves. And it was a constant battle of different diets for many years, since that is not the way I am built.

Then came the few years around my divorce that I was incredibly happy with my body. I was slim, and tiny. I could wear anything and look good. I didn’t have to watch what I was eating, and my weight stayed the same. It was heaven!

I slowly started picking up a few kg’s again a few years ago. I didn’t like it, but it was not enough that I had to go out and buy new clothes, I just rounded out a little bit.

Few years on, and my body has changed so much, I cannot look at myself in the mirror anymore. I have not really picked up weight, but my body underwent some metamorphosis. And honestly, I am not eating more. I am also tired of watching what I eat the whole time. I like good food, and I enjoy a glass of wine. I am not huge on sweet things, although I do enjoy a good dessert now and then, but I’ve always limited myself because I didn’t want to pick up weight. I might be a tad less active nowadays, but I enjoy being peaceful and quiet at home.

Also…*cringe* I have to consider the fact that I’m getting older. I am developing a real ‘granny’ body – of the old fashioned kind, let me hasten to add, since I know grannies these days are not necessarily cute, cuddly and rosy cheeked anymore.

I also know that I could change the situation with exercise. I’ve been trying to do that regularly for a few months now, and I can just not motivate myself to do it. I start, and then stop. Start, stop. I used to exercise 5 times a week, for many years, now I cannot get myself to do it 2x a week!

I really, really want to look sleek and fit again, but I really, really don’t feel like exercising anymore!!!! 😦

Does anyone know of an easy way out? Please? Anyone?