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My inner bitch.

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Photo by Jan Kopu0159iva on Pexels.com

I have never considered myself as being bitchy.

But. Yes, BUT. I’ve learned throughout my life that inside all of us reside different persona, that surface at different times. You may be mostly nice, kind, stingy, generous, bitchy, mean, an optimist, a grumpy pants, etc., but there will be times that your other personalities come to the fore, for short periods, or longer, depending on the situation. Of course, that is normal. Human beings have personalities with lots of facets.

So, although I am ( or I used to be – I’ve grown up and become wise) generally reticent, shy-ish, quiet – an introvert – obviously some of my other traits appear from time to time. But when the right (or wrong) buttons are pushed, I morph into someone completely different. Not always an obvious change, it can start subtly, on the inside. I will watch, and listen. And that inner change might eventually surface if the other person persists in poking at the same bloody button.

Weirdly enough, that has not happened often in my life, as it takes quite a lot to get me to that point. I can suffer in silence for a long time. Once you have pushed my bitch-button too hard and too often, though, everything changes. My attitude towards that person will change, and I will never see them in the same light or treat them the same again. And it can never be reversed.

I do not like that part of myself, but I do think that it is necessary. It is part of my self-preservation. I do that to protect myself. And I won’t apologize for it either. All I’m saying is that what you get from me, is dependant on how you treat me. I was brought up to have respect for others, their belongings and their rights and as long as I am treated the same, we will get along like a house on fire. You will never even believe that I have an inner bitch! A lot of people don’t. 🙂

I know she’s there, though. And she doesn’t mind hibernating for long stretches at a time. Until she is poked.