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Who are you? (oo-oo, oo-oo…)

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I’ve been thinking…

Why do us humans lately need to be told who we are? And by that I don’t mean the DNA kind of who are you. There are endless lists all over – magazines, social media – that can ‘tell you’ who, what where, why – if you answer the next 6/10/20 questions.

We can tell you your personality type!!! Are you a true introvert? What is your IQ/EQ? Are you a typical Leo? What is the status of your relationship? What kind of mom are you? – on and on and ON!!!!

Does nobody know who they are anymore? Do we really need our laptops to tell us? Why? Don’t we trust ourselves anymore?

The internet is invasive. It climbs into your head and buggers up your brain and self confidence.

How have people managed for thousands of years without the internet to tell them who they are? Has humankind been floating around in a state of limbo for eons, waiting for the internet to happen so we can all discover who we are?

RI.DI.CU.LOUS. !!!!! What utter BS…

Of course you know who you are. You know you don’t like lots of people around you. You know you don’t like talking to strangers. You know well enough whether you are brilliant, or average as far as intelligence goes. You know you need to loose weight, because if you look at yourself in the mirror, you can see it! You might choose to ignore it, but you know it. You know you are not good with Algebra, but you cook like an angel. You hate running, but you love dancing.

You get what I’m saying?

Why do we give even the slightest bit of attention to all these people making all these stupid little questionnaires, just to make us doubt ourselves? Stop doing that!!! Take back your confidence, your self-knowledge, your life, and let those little lists die in cyber space.

Trust yourself. If you are giving it your all being a mum, and your child/children are happy and healthy, why do you need someone else ( a faceless, nameless someone behind a computer screen) to tell you you are doing okay? If your life makes you happy, you don’t need someone to tell you you are doing it wrong. Go with your gut.

Be who you are without any excuses or apologies to anyone. Own it.

PS. Sorry about the heading, I couldn’t resist – I hope some of you get the connection….

My inner bitch.

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I have never considered myself as being bitchy.

But. Yes, BUT. I’ve learned throughout my life that inside all of us reside different persona, that surface at different times. You may be mostly nice, kind, stingy, generous, bitchy, mean, an optimist, a grumpy pants, etc., but there will be times that your other personalities come to the fore, for short periods, or longer, depending on the situation. Of course, that is normal. Human beings have personalities with lots of facets.

So, although I am ( or I used to be – I’ve grown up and become wise) generally reticent, shy-ish, quiet – an introvert – obviously some of my other traits appear from time to time. But when the right (or wrong) buttons are pushed, I morph into someone completely different. Not always an obvious change, it can start subtly, on the inside. I will watch, and listen. And that inner change might eventually surface if the other person persists in poking at the same bloody button.

Weirdly enough, that has not happened often in my life, as it takes quite a lot to get me to that point. I can suffer in silence for a long time. Once you have pushed my bitch-button too hard and too often, though, everything changes. My attitude towards that person will change, and I will never see them in the same light or treat them the same again. And it can never be reversed.

I do not like that part of myself, but I do think that it is necessary. It is part of my self-preservation. I do that to protect myself. And I won’t apologize for it either. All I’m saying is that what you get from me, is dependant on how you treat me. I was brought up to have respect for others, their belongings and their rights and as long as I am treated the same, we will get along like a house on fire. You will never even believe that I have an inner bitch! A lot of people don’t. 🙂

I know she’s there, though. And she doesn’t mind hibernating for long stretches at a time. Until she is poked.