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Oh my! The lights are up.

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Photo by u4e00 u5f90 on Pexels.com
Oh my!
The lights are up!
Tinsel, baubles, holly 
and fairy lights
Everywhere you turn
everywhere you look.

Excitement
Dread
Pleasure
Pain

Family and friends -
together, joyful.      

Party time
drink- yourself -out -of -your -mind time,
running -away- from- yourself time.

Pleasure
And pain
Always together.

Oh my!
The lights are up -
It's Christmas time!





Introspection – Things I learnt about myself during lockdown…

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A part of ‘The Twelve Apostles’ (mountain range behind table Mountain) sticking through the clouds on our drive round Chapman’s Peak two weekends ago.

I’ve learnt a few things about myself during this lockdown period. (One would think I know myself by now, given my age… )

* I need to get a life.

My life hardly changed during this time, isn’t that sad? I always knew I was an introvert that doesn’t like people too much, but I never realized that I’m basically a hermit. I miss my children something fierce, but two of them live too far away to see regularly anyway. I have a few friends that I do feel it is time to see again, except I can’t, what with South Africa’s ridiculous rules around lockdown. I go grocery shopping when I need to, and other than that I am quite content to be home and do my own thing. Maybe I need to get another hobby, one I actually have to leave the house to do… (Oh, I do miss eating out now and then!)

*I am a lot more aggressive than I ever thought

Oops… I even consider closing my FB account, because I can get SO riled up by some of the things I read there! I really try and stay away from the news, because MAN, do I get angry!!! Especially with things happening in our country, that makes absolutely NO sense whatever! I do believe that one has to have an idea of what’s going on in the world, but maybe I should just float along in my own little bubble – best for me, and better for the world around me! (Could I maybe put this down to the frustration and uncertainty of Covid-19 and lockdown?)

*I am a lot lazier than I always thought…

Another oops… Not something I am proud of, I can promise you! I love a clean house, but I do not like doing all the cleaning, all the time. We are spoiled in SA, we have people that come in and clean our houses, should we want that (most people do), and I used to have someone come in once a week to clean, and iron. With lockdown, of course, some of that has changed, so we have to do everything ourselves. And sad to say, I really have to give myself a serious talking to, before I get off my backside to do some cleaning. (I would much rather sit and knit, crochet, or lately, blog.)

*I can get by with a lot less than I thought.

At last a positive!! I know now that we can live on a lot less money than I previously thought. That is mainly because I realized that we need a lot less food than we always have in the house. During this time, we tried to go out as little as possible, so we would try and stretch whatever we had in the house to last another day or two, make plans for meals with what we had around. Which brings me to the last point:

*I am a lot more resourceful than I ever gave myself credit for!

Yay, another positive! Because of the previous point, I managed to make a lot of tasty meals with very little.

I refuse to say that I am glad Covid-19 happened to come along in my lifetime, but it did make me sit back and take stock, it made me think about a few touchy subjects, and it taught me a few things, which is all in all probably not a bad thing.

 

Until next time, blogfriends! 🙂

Life is a journey.

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Sun fingers touching the earth.

 

#lifeisajourney

This is a permanent hashtag on my instagram profile. It says it all to me. You are on your own personal journey, and you have to keep moving to reach your destination. The destination can be different things to different people, of course.

Life’s journey is not all fun and games, of course, like a planned vacation to your favourite destination. It can be a bit of a nightmare, it often takes a few wild turns, and there are more than one detour along the way.

Still, you can’t decide to get off the bus whenever you want to. You have to keep going, and hope that there is something exciting around the bend, or over the hill. You can sometimes decide whether to turn left or right, or carry on straight. U-turns are strictly forbidden.

What makes one carry on? What makes one pick up the pieces and keep going?

Hope.

Hope that tomorrow will be a bit brighter and lighter. Hope that you will feel stronger, happier, more content. Hope that you will find that much needed job, or that your tests for cancer/MS/Alzheimer’s will be negative. Hope that lightning might strike your violently abusive husband. Hope that next month’s pregnancy test will be positive.

Life’s journey is fueled by hope. No matter how hard life hits us, we always have hope that things will be better, and we will hurt less.

*If you seriously feel that you have hit rock bottom on your life’s journey, though, please seek help, there are people that can help you.

 

Hi, my name is…

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Hi, my name is Zelmaré, and I haven’t posted for years!

Haha…funny, not funny. I used to be addicted to blogging, couldn’t go a day without, and then, just like that, I stopped. Why, you may ask? I’ve asked myself that question, but have yet to come up with an answer…

Since the last time I wrote anything here (I honestly don’t even know when the last time was, I even had to change my password because I had forgotten the previous one!), a hell of a lot has happened in my life.

I should’ve checked when my last post was, because now I have to fly by the seat of my pants in terms of where to start … but here goes!

I was still farming in the northern province of Limpopo in South Africa then, and I had a few frustrations going on in my life, which made it difficult for me to be happy.

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I found my passion in cattle farming, relatively late in life. I loved every minute of the 7 years that I worked with these amazing creatures, but I had to make decisions regarding my life and happiness, so I had to give them up, which broke my heart… But hey – choices!!!

Which brings me to another one of the huge changes in my life in the last few years. I have always loved the Western Cape province of South Africa. I knew the area from a young age, and it has been a dream of mine for many years to live there (here). So, a few years ago, after I sold my house in the Northwest, I decided to buy a place somewhere in the Western Cape. I ended up buying a 130 year old cottage in Robertson 3 years ago, in the heart of the wine country, and made one of my dreams come true. At first my SO* and I shared our time between Limpopo and Robertson, since his whole life has been in Limpopo for the last 30 years, but last year, I moved here permanently and started a new life.

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My SO* is here with me as much as he can/wants to be, and if he misses his place up in the north too much, or when he has matters requiring his attention, he spends some time there. When he is here, we love exploring, or going for bike rides around the beautiful places in the area, or working on the cottage. All in all, a completely different life for me to the previous 9 years.

There was another huge event that took place recently and changed my life forever, but since I am determined to blog more often from now on, I will let that stand over for next time!

Until then, blog friends, stay safe!

*SO – significant other

 

Alone/Lonely

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Friday night, and I’m home alone.

I hate being on my own on a Friday night, but tonight it was my own doing. My choice. But now I hate it. I’m trying to convince myself that I’m loving it, but I don’t believe myself.

The positive side of it is that I can do what I want, watch whatever I want on TV (there’s nothing to watch, by the way), eat what I want (nope, nothing I feel like in the house), take a long, leisurely bath (yip, did that). But, if I’m not alone because I really want to be, I’m lonely. Simple as that.

I don’t have a problem with my own company, since I’m an introvert, so I generally do not enjoy idle chitchat, especially not with random strangers. I’m in a relationship with a Leo – a total extrovert, who can chat with anybody, anywhere. You see the problem?

But here’s how I get myself out of the lonely funk:

  1. I get on the internet, and I start listening to music. I might start of with sad songs, like the one I’m listening to now – Everybody Hurts by Kelly Clarkson and Pink, but as I’m scrolling down, the feel and tempo might start changing. Music is magic!
  2. I always feel like I want to put my feelings into words, so I start writing. In this case, I blog. I haven’t done so in months, but as soon as the music started playing, I automatically opened WordPress, and here I am! Feeling better already.
  3. I get myself a glass of wine, and something to snack on. Wine seems to do the trick, especially combined with good music.

That’s basically it. I give myself another ten to fifteen minutes, and I’ll only be ‘alone’, not feeling ‘lonely’ any more. 🙂

You guys have yourselves a wonderful weekend!

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